We have all been there. It can be awkward! But don’t worry if you have made mistakes when it comes to trying to accommodate the dietary needs of friends, families, and other guests.

These top “Do’s” and “Don’ts” can help you improve and provide confidence to your friends with dietary restrictions.

Rest assured that as a gluten-free eater, I have experienced many awkward moments navigating my dietary restrictions as someone else’s guest.

Embarrassingly, I have left a restaurant, with my party, because there was literally NOTHING on the menu that wasn’t drenched in soy sauce or contaminated with gluten. I have also been the “hungry girl,” at a gathering, because salad was the only gluten-free dish that I could eat. Many times, I have eaten foods, knowing that they were probably contaminated with gluten, just to save myself and everyone else the embarrassment.

But some people do get this beautifully right!

I remember arriving in Montana, after a six hour flight, to head straight into a camping trip with my best friend. My best friend greeted me with baggies filled with dehydrated fruits and vegetables, gluten-free oats, nitrate-free jerkys, and more catered to my specific diet. Her consideration made me feel instantly at ease and confident that I was in good hands.

Making your guests feel comfortable, by accommodating their dietary needs, isn’t as hard as you think. With knowledge and foresight, you can serve as an excellent host and friend to all of your guests, even the ones with tricky diets.

Here is a list of my top “Do’s” and “Don’ts” to help you host your guests who can’t eat everything.

Top “Do’s”

1. Ask about dietary restrictions and preferences

Whether you are hosting a meal in your home, planning a party, or simply choosing a restaurant to dine at, always ask your guests what dietary restrictions or preferences you need to know about. Asking this question shows your guests that you are considerate and willing to accommodate their needs. Remember that diets evolve and change, and even if you do not believe that your guests observe a restrictive diet, just ask the question.

2. Educate yourself

Ask your guest with dietary restrictions to tell you more about how they eat. Not everyone treats their restrictions the same way, and your guest is the best person to educate you on how to meet their needs. Use the internet to educate yourself about what ingredients are present in foods. Some ingredients wind up in just about everything, so get this freebie cheat sheet to help you navigate the confusion!

3. Choose restaurants that offer options

When you eat out, make sure that the restaurant you choose provides options for your guests with dietary restrictions. If the restaurant does not clearly identify options on the menu, call the restaurant and ask if they can accommodate the dietary restriction. If possible, make a reservation, and inform the restaurant about your party’s dietary needs. This will allow the restaurant to prepare for your visit and provide a seamless experience.

4. Include “safe” foods

If hosting a catered or home cooked gathering, always include a few “safe” foods. “Safe” foods include foods that are unlikely to cause issues for most people. Depending on the specific dietary needs of your guests, “safe” foods may include fruit, vegetable dishes, fish, and meat prepared without added soy, dairy, nuts, or wheat.

5. Make what you love

Accommodating dietary restrictions does not mean that you need to stop serving the dishes that you love! Just make sure to provide alternatives that all of your guests can enjoy.

For example, rather than adding cheese, nuts, and salad dressing to a salad mixture, consider allowing guests to choose what they add to their salad by making these items available on the side. Similarly, if you are serving pasta, consider making a small batch of gluten free pasta for your gluten-free guests.

These kinds of alternatives can allow you and your guests to enjoy the foods you love!

6. Make it a potluck

Consider making your gathering a potluck. People with dietary restrictions are usually eager to bring a dish that they can eat and share with others who may not observe the same diet. As the host, make sure to provide at least one other dish that your guest with dietary restrictions can enjoy. Let your guest know that you made this dish just for them!

7. Ask for input

When you can offer flexibility, ask the person with dietary restrictions for restaurant suggestions or for help planning a menu. Most people with dietary restrictions want to reduce the burden of their hosts as much as possible, and by helping you choose a restaurant or plan a menu, your guest can truly lighten your load.

Top “Don’ts”

1. Don’t pressure your guests

This may seem counter intuitive, but don’t pressure your guests to eat foods that you have prepared according to their dietary needs.

For example, some guests may hate the idea of inconveniencing you so much that they insist on eating beforehand or bringing their own dishes to eat. On the other hand, some guests may feel that their sensitivity is SO severe that they do not want to take chances on a dish someone else prepared.

If you ask a few times and your friend or family member seems to resist the idea of you making special dishes just for them, do not push the issue. Do your best to provide some safe foods (“Do” number four) or pick a safe restaurant (“Do” number three) and let your guests know about the options without pressuring them to partake in what you have provided.

2. Don’t ask your guest if they can have “a little”

Don’t ask your guest if they can have “just a taste” of something or tell them that “a little” won’t hurt them. (Yes, I have heard that a dozen of times.) Also, don’t force your guest to share dishes family or tapas style with you unless you are willing to stick to their dietary restrictions. Respect your guest’s dietary needs and let them make their own choices about what they want to eat.

3. Don’t assume that they are on a fad diet

Even if your guest is experimenting with a new diet or adopting diet principles that seem foreign to you, operate with the belief that each person is making their own best decisions. If you feel inclined to make assumptions, consider that science, health reasons, or personal convictions probably play a role in that person’s decisions about what they eat. “Don’t judge, lest you be judged!”

4. Don’t cross contaminate

Keep utensils, plates, cutting boards, serving ware, and dishes that you use to prepare non- “safe” foods away from dishes that you use to prepare “safe” foods.

For example, hamburger buns and patties should remain separate for your gluten-free guests, and meats should not touch plant-based dishes for your vegetarian friends.

Make sure to tell your guests about your precautions. They will appreciate your consideration and feel more confident that the food is safe for them to eat!

5. Don’t get your feelings hurt

Perhaps your guest can’t join you in a bite of your favorite pie, and maybe all of these restrictions are making you question the way you do barbecues, but you REALLY need to keep in mind that it is NOT personal. Even when you go above and beyond to meet your guest’s needs, don’t be upset if they don’t eat everything or seem to love it. Remember that a person’s decision about what they eat, exists independently of you. Take comfort in doing your best— and make it about the process, not the outcome!

6. Don’t make a huge deal about it

Lots of people don’t like the spotlight, and having dietary restrictions can be embarrassing or make someone feel like an outsider to the rest of the group. Make an effort to discuss your guest’s restrictions in private. Politely and discreetly, point out the “safe” foods to your guest and check in with the person later to ask them if they enjoyed the dishes and if there is anything else you can do for them.

These “Do’s” and “Don’t’s”will save you the next time you host friends and family members who can’t eat everything.

Remember to get your FREE cheat sheet so that you can navigate the trickiest ingredients like a pro!